We have earlier spoken about the lack of socially sanctioned spaces for interaction among our teenage boys and girls in present times. Romantic relationships tend to develop during adolescence. It is a natural process, yet a difficult phase. It is a transitional period the chief purpose of which is the preparation of children for adult roles. We have all gone through that adolescent phase and there are no bypasses. It marks a time of sexual maturation, which manifests in social interactions as well. The expression of sexual desire among adolescents is influenced by family values and the culture and religion they have grown up in. An adolescent’s sexual socialization is highly dependent upon the society they live in and how restrictive or permissive that society is when it comes to sexual activity. Add to that, the manifestations of a conflict-ridden society and high unemployment rate. One can imagine the push and pull factors against the backdrop of conflict between the state and non-state actors. In the adolescent phase, one goes through a difficult period of shaping behavior against peer pressure and when one is faced with multiple career options, both negative and positive. One could be easily frustrated in such a scenario, as we have seen in the last few decades. Look at drug abuse among our youth and its related issues engulfing the state and its policies. In plain words, we have to simply understand the conditions in which our boys and girls are growing up. Only then, we could start the debate of regulating social interactions among the youth. But, certainly not by imposition and strictures on youth behavior or public humiliation through restaurant drives by condom waving vigilantes. It is true, our boys and girls are meeting in semi-lit restaurants. Every now and then, we are witnessing raids in semi-lit restaurants by different pressure groups and even public humiliation of young people found in unsavory conditions. With the advent of information technology and cell phones, instances of blind dates and sex crimes have increased in recent times. Instances of married men duping young girls and date rape in restaurants and of young housewives being ensnared by gullible men have come out in the open in the said raids. But, banning cell phones would not be a solution to such crimes. Or for that matter, public humiliation of young people meeting in restaurants is not the solution. For the self-righteous groups, imposition and public humiliation is the name of the game and they still refuse to go beyond that. As we had opined earlier, these drives are negative on adolescent behavior which could only lead to increase in date rape and pre-marital sex and other forms of sexual behavior. The pertinent question here is who and what has led our youth to the restaurants? It is the restrictive society which had driven our boys and girls in a corner. It is not their fault. The fault lies in the society and its restrictive norms. So, the task in hand before us is how to revive socially sanctioned spaces for adolescent interaction and positive relationships taking into account the changing dynamics of our society. Or we have to think in terms of developing newer spaces or rendezvous for a positive regulation of romantic relationships and sexual socialization of our youth. In our ancient lore, there are stories of young boys courting girls in the latter’s home with parental sanction. We had Likkon Saanaba where young boys and girls get to know each other through a local game of dice. We had Thabal Chongba dance, again a rendezvous for our youth. With the advent of Hinduism, the Meiteis began to shed their martial tradition and its associated baggage and had become conservative. Still, they did not do away with the socially sanctioned spaces for youth relationships at once. But with the Meiteis becoming more and more conservative, these socially sanctioned spaces had vanished. Having said this, we would appeal to all rational beings and social scientists to converge in the search for spaces and rendezvous for the youth. If not, we would be betraying our 2000 year old civilization and forfeiting the future of our youth.
Read more / Original news source: http://kanglaonline.com/2012/04/growing-up-in-difficult-times/